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John Harvery

Easy Meat

Heinemann 1996

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don't want anyone to get too carried away about this,' the Head of Geography said, wriggling out of his anorak as he came into the staff room, 'but there was a rumoured sighting of a lesser spotted Snape earlier this morning.' 'In the general vicinity, is that?' asked one of the Maths staff, glancing up from the crossword. 'Or actually, you know...?' 'On the premises, apparently. Somewhere in the vicinity of the toilets. Natural habitat.' 'We ought to put a sign on the notice board, perhaps? Must be quite a few members of staff who've never had the chance to see one at close quarters. After all, I don't suppose he'll be here long.' 'Difficult to predict,' the Head of Geography said, 'the migratory habits of the Snape.' From her seat across the room, where she was vainly trying to get another set of English folders marked before the bell. Hannah Campbell didn't think it was so funny. The last time Nicky Snape had showed up in her class, a perfectly decent lesson on haiku had been fatally disrupted in less time than it took to count to seventeen.

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